Playoff Watch
After four weeks, we're getting a pretty good idea of what teams will likely make the playoffs, and which teams might start tanking for a high draft pick. The Tecmo Bowls are sitting pretty at 4-0. As long as they don't trade Ray Rice for an injured Darren McFadden, they should avoid the fate bestowed upon the Iron City Iguanas last year.
Three teams at 3-1 should all feel good. In OFFL history, seven teams have had three wins after four weeks. One non-playoff team was owned by Carlos, so that doesn't really count. Five of the remaining six have made the playoffs.
On the other end, the Steeltown Stunners might as well pack it in. No 0-4 team has ever made the playoffs. The one-win teams have slightly more to be excited about. Each of the past three years, one 1-3 team has reached the playoffs. Of the current 1-3 teams, the Trough Drinkers are the only one to turn the trick.
The 2-2 teams are pretty much a coin flip right now, as eight of 14 teams have made the playoffs.
Power Rankings
The Power Rankings are back and the Man Whores are the runaway leaders. The 4-0 Tecmo Bowls are mired in fourth, suggesting their wins are more the result of a lackluster schedule so far.
On the back end, Nick Saban's Hair Dye and the Steeltown Stunners have been historically bad. It's still early, so we'll try not to pile on. But the Hair Dye's season high is 86 points, which is lower than four teams lowest point total, including the 1-3 Trough Drinkers.
The rankings are based on what each team's record would have been had it played every team in the league every week. In each of the previous three seasons, five of the top six teams (and strangely the No. 8 team) have made the playoffs. Without further ado, your Week Eight Power Rankings:
Rk Team
1 The Man Whores (2) 875
2 Wall Street Journals 705
3 Iron City Iguanas (1) 648
4 Tecmo Bowls 636
5 Vandelay Industries 580
6 One-Term Wonders 568
7 Cityname Sports Team (1)523
8 Trough Drinkers 455
9 Green Iguanas 420
10 The Widow Makers 341
11 Nick Sabans Hair Dye 136
12 Steeltown Stunners 114
OFFL Championship Belt
If the OFFL was like boxing, and had a championship belt (don't discount this actually happening), you'd have to beat the champ to be the champ.
The Tecmo Bowls defended "The Belt" in their first chance by taking down the Iron City Iguanas. They won The Belt the week before by winning a battle of 3-0 teams over the Wall Street Journals. This week, Vandelay Industries gets it's chance to reclaim The Belt for the first time since the opening week of the season.
Dating back to the inaugural week, the Bean Counters won the Battle Royal for the belt with a league high 135 points. Since then, team's have beaten each other back and forth more times than the Macho Man dropped an elbow from the top rope.
Tecmo Bowls Win Battle of Undefeateds
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| Tony can throw as many picks as he wants. |
If the Bowls win next week, we're officially changing their name to the VooDoo. This week, they started Steve Smith (The Fast One), Anquan Boldin, Michael Turner, Ben Tate, Dennis Pitta and Danny Amendola. Basically, they could have drafted Tom Brady, then taken the next six rounds off.
The Iron City Iguanas were flat awful, six positions scored five points or less. They completely wasted Tony Romo's five-interception effort that led to 26 points for the Bears Defense. The last time Romo spluged that much, Jessica Simpson was hot.
The Man Whores Nearly Set League Record in Victory
It started on Thursday night when Torrey Smith provided an emotional 15 points. It ended with an epic 149-75 blowout victory for The Man Whores over Nick Sabans Hair Dye.
The Whores scored at will, mimicking Saban at a AOPi Social. Smith was one of seven players to score 14 points or more for the Whores, including 29 by Matt Ryan and 31 by the 49ers Defense.
The Hair Dye, which rode team Whitey to victory last week, was victimized this week by the fact that most of its team was white. It's not a recipe for victory.
Wonders Ride Prime Time Performances to Victory
It was early Sunday evening and the Green Iguanas were toasting a likely victory. Little did they know a 75-61 lead would turn into a 115-105 loss to the One-Term Wonders.
It was a phenomenal matchup as 12 players hit double figures, and both teams easily exceeded their projections. Roddy White's 28-point performance was the difference for a team that scored 115 points despite being projected to score 81.
That brings up another point. Who the hell does Yahoo's projections. And how on earth does that guy still have a job? I mean, if someone was that bad at fantasy football, we'd kick them out of the OFFL. Unless their name was Chad.
Journals Drop Stunners to 0-4
It was the best effort of the year for the Steeltown Stunners, but they were overshadowed by a Wall Street Journals outing that would make Randolph Duke proud. The Journals scored a 136-95 win that left the Stunners winless.
Usually a staple of the Stunners (because they draft the Steelers in the fourth round every year), they were outscored 25-1 on defense. However, they still would have needed 20 more points to win this week. It's an extremely non descript performance by the Stunners (five players scored six points or less).
Meanwhile, the Journals went for double figures from seven positions, including 31 from Peyton Manning and 25 from the Texans defense. When Calvin Johnson is your worst player, you're probably going to win. It's like being the ugliest Backstreet Boy at a bar.
Cityname RBs Make Difference in Victory over Industries
Stevan Ridley, Alfred Morris and Adrian Peterson combined for 51 points as Cityname Sports Team coasted to a 98-75 victory over Vandelay Industries.
Maurice Jones-Drew and Ryan Mathews continue to be an enigma for the Industries and starting Carson Pamer at quarterback never helps.
Trough Drinkers Finally Win, Beat Widow Makers
In an abysmal matchup, the Trough Drinkers scored their first win of the year, 96-76, over The Widow Makers. The quarterbacks dueled to a near draw, leaving Trent Richardson to make the difference.
Aaron Rodgers 34 points was cancelled out by Drew Brees 35. Brandon Marshall's 19 was almost matched by Dwayne Bowe's 16. Outside of that, only two players scored more than six points, and they both belonged to the Drinkers.
Here is where we would normally write more about the game, but the Commish is hammered and this game matchup sucked. Good night.
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