WEEK TWO NOTES

Playoff Watch
For the third time in four years of the OFFL, three or fewer teams are 2-0 after two weeks. Parity reigns, although there is still a Cleveland Browns clone in the OFFL. Not surprisingly, it's the Steeltown Stunners, who are 0-2 for the third time in four years.

Teams that have started 2-0 have made the playoffs 66.7% of the time. Those starting 0-2 have a 22.2% chance of making the playoffs. The Trough Drinkers in 2010 and One-Term Wonders in 2011 are giving you losers hope.

If you're 1-1 and thinking it's not a must-win this week, you're right. Sort of. Eleven of 13 teams with a 2-1 record have made the playoffs while just four of 15 having started 1-2 have. You don't have to win, but you should.

The Belt
If the OFFL was run by boxing promoters and four different championship organizations, we would have a belt (or four). To win it, you would have to beat the team that owned the belt (just like in boxing). With their 120-105 victory over Vandelay Industries, the Wall Street Journals claimed "The Belt" for the fourth time in their history last week.

Two of the previous three times, they have lost immediately after winning the belt. That puts you on deck Tecmo Bowls.

The Belt was awarded to the Bean Counters in Week One of 2009 after they scored the most points. Since then, whoever has defeated the belt holder in the regular season has taken over its honor.

Reggie Bush's Inspiration

Drinkers Wake Up In Familiar Place
For the second straight week, the Trough Drinkers posted a respectable score in the 90s. For the second straight week, they got Iced. This time it was the Tecmo Bowls scoring the victory, 100-92.

The Tecmo Bowls victory was rather miraculous as Reggie Bush and Danny Amendola combined for 50 points. Danny Freakin Amendola. If that wasn't enough, Jason Hanson kicked in 13 points to help the Bowls to a 2-0 start. In related news, you can now ice skate in hell. At least Tonya Harding will be happy.

The Drinkers should have known they were in trouble when first-round pick, Aaron Rodgers scored just 11 points, fewer than the Packers kicker. Unfortunately, State Farm's discount double-check doesn't offer insurance for shitty play.

Sports Team Holds Off Wonders for 2-0 Start
Roddy White made a valiant effort, scoring 16 points on Monday Night Football, but it wasn't enough for the One-Term Wonders as they fell 85-82 to Cityname Sports Team.

Five players scored exactly eight points for the Sports Team, proving once and for all that Nate Kaeding's legs have the same value as Adrian Peterson's. The Philly connection of Michael Vick and Brent Celek put Cityname over the top with a combined 35 points.

The Wonders suffered their first loss of the 2012 election season despite Eli Manning's 29-point outburst. The team's undoing was four or fewer points out of four different positions, including Dez Bryant at the Flex. If he doesn't start drinking soon, he may never play well again. If I don't, these notes might not get any better.

Defending Champs Lay Wood to Stunners
This was the rough equivalent of Savannah State playing at Oklahoma State in college football. Only the Steeltown Stunners didn't get a six-figure check for rolling over and taking one up the ganges from The Man Whores, 123-65.

It was so bad, the Whores could have benched their starting quarterback and two starting running backs and still won by five.

Meanwhile, the Stunners had a running back, two wide receivers and a tight end combine for one point. The star of the show was CJ2-Points-Per-Game. It's pretty safe to say nobody will ever ask to have Chad kicked out of the league.

Journals Rally for Shootout Victory
Willis McGahee led seven players in double figures as the Wall Street Journals won a shootout over Vandelay Industries, 120-105.

Heading into Monday night, Vandelay held a 15-point lead. Then McGahee went off, overcoming not only the 15-point deficit, but also fellow Journal Peyton Manning's three interceptions to score th victory. The "kowski" brothers-from-different-mothers, Stephen and Rob, added 14 and 13 points, respectively.

The Industries put up a valiant effort, led by C.J. Spiller's 28-point eff-you to Bills coach Chan Gailey for leaving him on the bench so long behind Fred Jackson. However, it was not to be prompting Jim Cramer to put the latex company in his "Sell Block."

Nicks the Difference in Iguana Bowl
Griffining may be what all the kids are doing in the Iron City, but it was Hakeem Nicks that put the Iron City Iguanas on top of the their nickname counterpart (the much more eco-friendly Green Iguanas), 92-73 in week two.

Sure, Griffin scored 31 points but that's almost to be expected these days. Nicks' 25-point outburst was much more unexpected and helped overcome a lowly one-point effort from Julio Jones (the "J" is totally not silent after scoring one point).

The Green Iguanas undoing was poor efforts from Larry Fitzgerald and Jamaal Charles. Each was projected to score 11 points, but they combined for one. We understand about Charles. As for Fitzgerald, unfortunately, Yahoo doesn't grade on a curve if Kevin Kolb is your quarterback.

Widow Makers Beat Hair Dye
Someone had to win this game, and it turns out The Widow Makers have fewer sucky players than Nick Sabans Hair Dye, to the tune of an 81-64 victory.

The two teams combined for 11 players scoring seven points or less, and only two players went higher than 13. What a bad game that was.