WEEK 10 NOTES

Robbie Gould was better for the Sports Team than everyone on the Hair Dye except for Tim Tebow. 

Playoff Watch

We're 10 weeks in and the playoff race is starting to shape up. If history is any guide, you teams that have a losing record at this point have no shot. Ten teams have been worse than .500 after 10 weeks and none have made the playoffs in OFFL history. But, hey, keep trying!

On the flip side, all nine teams that have been 6-4 or better have made the playoffs. That bodes well for the five teams in that current position. Cityname Sports Team has all but clinched a berth with its eight wins.

Playoff Projections
1. Cityname Sports Team
2. Nick Sabans Hair Dye
3. Trough Drinkers
4. The Widow Makers
5. One-Term Wonders
6. Green Iguanas

OFFL Championship Belt
If the OFFL was like boxing, and had a championship belt (don't discount this actually happening), you'd have to beat the champ to be the champ.

The current holder of "The Belt" is Cityname Sports Team, having won it by drubbing Nick Sabans Hair Dye 125-64 this week. The Sports Team are also ranked first in the standings and power rankings giving them a rare Treble at this point in the season.

Dating back to the inaugural week, the Bean Counters won the Battle Royal for the belt with a league high 135 points. Since then, team's have beaten each other back and forth more times than the Macho Man dropped an elbow from the top rope.

Drinkers Get Win By Best Score Ever

Maybe Gronkowski is on to something.

Nobody was surprised by the fact that the Trough Drinkers thrashed the Steeltown Stunners this week. However, the score may have been the best part as the Drinkers won 96-69. 69 means, well, you know. 96 means you get to roll away and get a good nights sleep. Wait, that sucks. Anyone who ever scores 96 should get an automatic loss. Since they don't, we'll break down the game.

The Trough Drinkers were an enigma this week. Five players scored 13 or more points and two scored zero. Rob Gronkowski spent enough time away from porn stars to post 23 points in the win.

Good lord the Stunners are bad. Had Drew Brees not been the game's best player with 24 points, they might not have broke 50 this week. It's almost as though they're trying to play a low-scoring defensive battle, but don't realize that in fantasy you can't stop the other team from scoring. Wave your towel.

Rodgers Carries Widow Makers to Victory
When you pull up a match up and see two teams that BOTH are starting a tight end at Flex, you just scratch your head and wonder why they're so bad. Except this week it happened and both teams have winning records. After Monday, we're not sure how. The Green Iguanas and Widow Makers are virtual mirror images with one exception, one team has Aaron Rodgers and one doesn't.

Rodgers dropped 36 points for the Makers as they won by 24, 90-66. On the flip side, maybe Iguanas owner Brian Limbaugh knows something we don't because his two tight ends outscored everyone on his team, except for his defense. Nevermind, I just re-read that sentence.

Whores Win Inaugural Defending Champions Suck Bowl
For the first time in OFFL history, two previous champions were facing each other. As you might expect, they each entered the contest 3-6. One of them -- cough, cough, Vandelay Industries, cough, cougn -- is attempting to lose every game to get Andrew Luck.

The Industries plan succeeded this week as they dropped an 89-79 decision to the Man Whores. You can tell they're trying to lose because Larry Fitzgerald and his 26 points were on the bench. So were Alex Smith and his 16. Had either played, they would have won.

The beneficiary is the Man Whores and owner Justin Limbaugh's monkey dance. He thinks the win is some sort of redemption of him as an owner. Sorry dude, both your kicker and defense had more points than any of your running backs or receivers. That's just blind luck. If it weren't for the Iron City Iguanas moronic decision to trade you Ray Rice, you might be battling the Indianapolis Colts for bragging rights.

Cityname Sports Team Continues to Roll
In a match up of No. 1 vs. No. 2, we're accustomed to a lack of scoring and a field goal battle. Cityname Sports Team obliterated that idea with a 125-64 thrashing of Nick Sabans Hair Dye. It was the third-largest beat down in OFFL history.

Tom Brady passed for 31 points. Arian Foster ran for 30 points. Hell, the Texans defense managed 17 points and kicker Robbie Gould added 14 points. It was rather ridiculous. Wes Welker and Steve Smith (the fast one) combined for seven points and they still scored 125. Not. Fair.

The Hair Dye were a sacrificial lamb for the weekend, but you'd think they could at least put up a fight. Apparently Tim Tebow can't will his fantasy team's to victory as his 18 points only count as 18 points. They don't make up for the fact that five players scored six points or less, including the Jets Defense incredulous negative-one performance. "All I do is win, win, win ...." Bullshit.

Injuries Doom Iron City Iguanas in Loss
The Iron City Iguanas started 4-0. They are now 5-5 and have as much chance of making the playoffs as Carlos Conte has of getting back in the OFFL. For the fifth time in six weeks the Iguanas lost, this time 101-55 to the One-Term Wonders.

Everyone on Iron City's roster is hurt. They have more pussies than the Bunny Ranch. Now you can add Matt Schaub to the list. It's possible Sunshine from Remember the Titans will be their starter this week.

Meanwhile, the One-Term Wonders took advantage the Iguanas fate. DeMarco Murray scored 22 and Jordy Nelson added 18. The Dallas defense went for 20 points while Reggie Bush stopped banging hos on South Beach for long enough to score 16 points. It was a whitewash. Had the Wonders started Tony Romo instead of Michael Vick, we'd be talking epic OFFL beatdown.

Surprisingly, seven of the nine Iguanas starters won their game in real life. Too bad that doesn't count for shit. Better luck next week.

Bowls Secure Third Win over Journals
In a preview of the 21 1/3 Ounce Cup, the Tecmo Bowls shocked the Wall Street Journals, 93-71. The Journals were favored by 21 points, but Michael Bush (hehehe) had other ideas. He is taking full advantage of Darren McFadden's injury by tallying 29 points. Four other players hit double figures as the Bowls improved to 3-7.

The Journals succombed to suckitude as only Chris Johnson had more than 10 points. Yes, the same Chris Johnson who has been the leader of the suckitude train all season. Apparently he jumped off the train, but all his followers on the Journals love the train. Cam, 10. Mike Wallace, 8. Greg Jennings, 9. Law Firm, 0. And on, and on, and on.

The more appalling thing about this game is that neither owner is on Twitter. Quit being bitches and get your shit together. You're ruining our perfect attendance ... or something.