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| Mark Sanchez was stopped inches short of the goal line, costing Nick Sabans Hair Dye a victory. |
Winners are Winners and Losers are Losers
The season is three games in with 10 to go. Anything can still happen, right? In OFFL history, of the 11 teams with a winning record after three games, nine have made the playoffs (.819). Of the 12 with a losing record, just three have made the playoffs (.250).
Only two teams the past two years have been 3-0 and both have made the playoffs. Of the two 0-3 teams in the past, one missed the playoffs and one made it (Trough Drinkers, 2010).
Both previous champions were 2-1 after three weeks. So, five of you are looking good. Sure, the Iron City Iguanas are 3-0 right now, but nobody in their right mind thinks a Hal Craig led team could win the whole kit and kaboodle anyway.
IC Iguanas are Winners
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| $3,000/week is Chump Change |
Of the nine players the Iguanas started, eight saw their team score a victory, which clearly translated to the fantasy playing field. Greg Olsen braved a monsoon for 13 points from his tight end position and the Ravens' Defense pretended like it was 1994 against the Rams to pick up 20 points.
On the flip side, the Man Whores were []this close to being 3-0 themselves. Roddy White took his eye off the ball on the four-yard line and dropped a sure touchdown, which would have come from Whores QB Matt Ryan. But who needs 12 points? It turns out Whores do. Julia Roberts should have taught you that.
Epic Finish Goes to the Drinkers
The Trough Drinkers knocked off Nick Sabans Hair Dye, 112-110, in arguably the closest, most dramatic finish in OFFL history.
Through the early afternoon games, the Drinkers seemed to have everything in hand thanks to 22 points from Rob Gronkowski and 21 from Fred Jackson. However, the Hair Dye continued to chip away and clawed within two points behind mammoth performances from Ryan Mathews (26) and Mark Sanchez (29).
Down the 4th-and-Goal in the final minute, Sanchez and the Jets were at the four-yard line. A touchdown and the Hair Dye win. Anything else, and the Drinkers win. Sanchez dropped back, moved in the pocket, then scrambled. He took off for the goal line, saw defenders closing and dove. Touchdown! Hair Dye win!
Except it's under review. two agonizing minutes later, the ruling on the field is overturned and the Drinkers are victorious! And they celebrated by -- duh -- drinking! Jager shots are delicious with a W.
It was the first time a team had scored at least 100 points and lost by fewer than five points. Of the six all-time OFFL games decided by two points or fewer, the Hair Dye have now been on the wrong end in three of them, including their epic 59-57 (really?) loss to the Wall Street Journals in 2009.
Tecmo Bowls On Verge of Relegation
No, the oFFL doesn't actually relegate anyone, but when a new owner has a team this bad, people will talk. The Bowls started three receivers, who combined for three points. They lost to the Green Iguanas, 77-67, who started a tight end at their flex position. Vanderbilt may as well have laughed at your football ability.
The Green Iguanas have no room to talk. Of players that aren't tight ends or kickers, only one scored more than five points. They won't get to play the Tecmo Bowls every week. And speaking of, you'd think the Bowls could at least run Bo Jackson off tackle every once in a while for a 212-yard touchdown.
Wonders Get off the Schnide Against Sports Team
You cannot underestimate how bad Cityname Sports Team's roster is outside of two players. Tom Brady and Wes Welker combined for 61 points. The rest of the team scored 24 points in a 104-85 loss to the previously winless One-Term Wonders.
Three Sports Team players scored just one point -- which is ironic because it's still more than team owner Robinson Jacka scores with the ladies.
The Wonders got a career performance from Jermichael Finley with 26 points. On top of that, running back Daniel Thomas's 17-point day overcame the fact that Daniel Thomas was a fantasy starter.
Who Dat Say They Gonna Beat Them Stunners?!?
At 0-2, the Steeltown Stunners had had enough. Then needed a victory. And what better way than to get the Saints to carry you. Drew Brees and Robert Meachem linked up for 41 combined points in a 98-88 win over The Widow Makers.
This game is hard to describe. Both Brees and Aaron Rogers went off. Besides that, only Tim Hightower went for more than a dozen. But nobody was epically bad either. We don't know what to say, except that we're pretty sure Sebastian Janikowski had at least two Polish sausages after kicking for 11 points on Sunday.
Wall Street Plummets
In a battle of New York companies, Vandelay Industries staked claim to the city that never sleeps in a convincing 97-69 victory.
About the only good thing that can be said about what the Journals are doing these days is that they scored 69 points. If you're going to suck, that's the best way to do it.
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