WEEK FOUR NOTES

If this guy was your opponent, you had a long afternoon.

Studying History
Well, well, well. We're four weeks in and nobody seems to be separating themselves. A league record six teas are 2-2 right now. Looking back, six of seven teams above .500 after four weeks have made the playoffs. The one that didn't was owned by Carlos Conte, so it doesn't really count. Teams that have been 2-2 have a 50 percent chance of reaching the playoffs. Duh.

Those that are below .500 at this point in the season have only seen two of their historical brethern be playoff bound in seven chances.

Iron City Iguanas Stay Undefeated
It's smoke and mirrors. It has to be. Look at the Iron City Iguanas roster. This week they're projected to score 76 points. Even the Tecmo Bowls are laughing at that, despite getting waxed once again, 123-88, by the aforementioned Iguanas.

Three out of four weeks, Iron City has gotten at least 20 points out of its defense. Sell outs. You can't be a Steelers fan and then ride the Ravens defense! Blasphemy!

Of course, Iron City may as well have started the Toledo Rockets at defense because the Tecmo Bowls are positivily awful. I'm not sure blowing into the cartrige, or Game Genie will help at this point. At this point, only Fred Savage's little brother in "The Wizard" will help. Up, down, up, down, A, B, A, B. Nevermind, you're still 0-4.

Hair Dye Falls Due to Dirty Sanchez
Reigning Plastic Cup Champion Nick Sabans Hair Dye seemed to be cruising on Sunday behind double figure points from five players. He got lots of help from the Bolts as Vincent Jackson and Ryan Mathews paired up for 30 points. Three other starters accounted for double-digits.

The Hair Dye were cruising. Outside of Michael Turner, the Steeltown Stunners weren't being very productive. And then Mark Sanchez happened. The Hair Dye QB committed four turnovers, created no touchdowns and tallied a negative-8. Nobody's scored a negative-8 since Rex Grossman was getting reguar time with the Bears. It cost the Hair Dye. They became the fourth team in league history to lose by one point, and likely the most agonizing of the four.

Brady/Welker Do It Again for Sports Team
Tom Brady and Wes Welker shared the love with 21 points each en route to Cityname Sports Team's victory over defending champion Vandelay Industries.

The Industries got a great day from quarterback Josh Freeman with 25 points and had a good day all-around with 97. However, Brady and Welker combined for 42 while freshly uninjured Arian Foster added 22 more. When all that happens and Steve Smith (the fast one) tacks on 18, its hard to beat. Even if Johnny Knox is in your starting lineup.

Luckily for the Sports Team they're 3-1. Otherwise, we'd be sure to make fun of their fake Donatello with the bo staff. We miss the TMNT Nintendo game, it was one of the better ones out there.

Rodgers other score.

Widow Makers Bend Over Man Whores
Aaron Rodgers went bonkers, scoring 52 points, and it wasn't even necessary as the Widow Makers dropped a 131-76 grenade on The Man Whores.

In fact, there were five voters on this game and three picked the Whores. Oops. Besides Rodgers, Matt Forte added 22 points and DeSean Jackson had 17 in the win. Are you imagening playing this? It makes me wince too. On top of everything, the Widow Makers started two Redskins in this debacle. They may be unstoppable.

Wall Street Occupies Woodmont
A 13-point underdog, and facing protests across the country, the Wall Street Journals made a rare appearance a the Woodmont Bar and Grill on Sunday to watch their team grind out a 104-86 win over the Trough Drinkers.

In what is likely the greatest 15th round pick in OFFL history, Cam Newton continued to rack up points like it's Pop-a-Shot. Between Newton's 32 and Greg Jennings channeling Cris Carter and only catching touchdowns, the Journals drove the Drinkers to booze. Okay, they were already there, but shots started after Jennings second touchdown.

Green Iguanas Follow Love Child Model to Beat Wonders
In Week One, the Tom Brady/Wes Welker Love Child won Player of the Week. The Green Iguanas are channeling that to erase their awful history. Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson combined for 39 points and the One-Term Wonders predictably sucked in a 96-76 Iguanas victory.

Basically it was Stafford, Johnson and 19 points from tight end Jimmy Graham that lifted Green to 3-1. The rest of the team is utterly unforgettable. As you might expect from a team that has scored more than 85 points once this year. If you just read that, and are mad you're not 3-1 also, join the club.