WEEK ONE PREVIEW: MAN WHORES BEGIN TITLE DEFENSE

Roddy White leads the wide receiving corps for the defending champs.


TITLE DEFENSE BEGINS AGAINST WALL STREET JOURNALS
The Man Whores won the inaugural OFFL Cup and begin their run for a repeat against the Wall Street Journals. It'll be a tougher road to hoe than one might imagine though. After all, the Journals went 7-6 a year ago without a draft sheet. Imagine what might happen this year after owner Travis Pigg managed to not get the entire league banned from Hooters. Or not. As of Friday night, the Journals still hadn't set a roster and were projected to get beaten 89-0. Here's calling on Man Whores owner Justin Limbaugh to pull Ronnie Brown and Nate Kaeding from the line up so the projection will be 69-0. Okay, let's be honest, he was already thinking about it. He is, after all, a man whore.


SOMEBODY HAS TO WIN BETWEEN STUNNERS AND GREEN IGUANAS
The Steeltown Stunners stunned exactly nobody last year. And they look to be continuing that tradition under the Lions-esque leadership of Chad Craig, who earned the very first preseason Bonehead Owner of the Week Award (your team is projected to score 70 points. 70.). Congratulations. Meanwhile, on the other side the extremely intimidating Green Iguanas aim to improve on their 5-8 record from a year ago. However, getting two points from a projected 13 from a your flex and kicker on Thursday night probably wasn't the best way to start. Ah, some things never change, but some things do. For instance, one of these teams will have a win in week one. (70 points.)


NEW OWNER MAKES DEBUT AGAINST IRON CITY IGUANAS
The lone new owner in the OFFL, Justin Edwards, makes his debut this weekend against Hal Craig's Iron City Iguanas. This raises the possibility of tampering charges from Edwards Stuffaluffagus side, as he allowed Craig to handle his early round draft picks. It was round six when Craig attempted to draft a second tight end for Stuffaluffagus, as he obviously was focusing on screwing his week one foe. However, the executive committee rejected the pick and Edwards arrived in the nick of time to foil Craig's plot. Now the Iguanas must face a fired up Stuffaluffagus looking to score a win in its owners first week.


COMMISH TAKES ON HARD-LUCK WONDERS
If you look at the 2009 standings, only eight points separated the Trough Drinkers and One-Term Wonders. And, despite the fact that it was the Wonders that scored eight more points, they still failed to make the playoffs. Meanwhile, a fortunate Drinkers squad rode the six seed all the way to the OFFL Bowl before falling to Brent Celek's 21 points (no, it might never be let go) and The Man Whores. But it's a new day in the OFFL. These LSU alum owners pretty much have nothing else to hope for this fall with Les Miles running things at their alma mater. For the winner, it'll feel like Mardi Gras. For the loser, well, he'll feel like the guy with the shovel behind the New Orleans Mounted Police. 


$40 DRAFT PROGRAM TRIES TO BEAT A LATEX COMPANY
Following an abysmal 4-9 campaign in 2009, Parker Schopbach's team has changed names and philosophies. Well sort of. It's no longer "The $hitkickers" or "Finnegan's" but now  "Total Devastation." He's also purchased a program to help him draft and -- honestly -- any investment in this department can't hurt. So, for his $40, what did he get? Drew Brees as his first round pick. Sound familiar? Yeah, same guy last year. Now he has to try and beat Vandelay Industries, which is well known for winning every game not against the arch-rival Trough Drinkers. Some salesman.


THIRD BASE WINNER GETS REPIREVE AGAINST FLAVA
A new day dawns on 2009 Third Base winner Nick Saban's Hair Dye as they look to rebound from a devastating loss in the OFFL semifinals a year ago. The Hair Dye managed to take home third in the inaugural OFFL season, but still ended the year with an empty feeling. Luckily for them, their medicine comes in the form of JamaicaZilian Flava, which went a paltry 5-8 a year ago -- and to be honest, was lucky to do so. Lollygaggers! The Flava, well, they're still the Flava.